Get To Know Yourself

I want to know a little more about my e-subscribers so I can better tailor my web-content to your needs, and it couldn't hurt if youse guys knew about yourselves a little more, too. It couldn't hurt me, that is. So what I'm asking is that you answer these questions so we can all see what's what.

1. If you wished to conquer somewhere, and be the head of state, where would you choose, and why?

2. Lets pretend you wrote a really, really long poem, and you tell me you did so in casual conversation / sent it to "What's it about?" I ask. What's your time-saving synopsis? I have to get back to the grind in six minutes.

3. We see an experimental play together where the characters yell at each other the whole time about some obscure philosophical disagreement no one would actually be that passionate about unless they were acting. What comments do you have about the play?

4. The word "trochee" is an example of an iamb, and the word "iamb" is an example of a trochee. Discuss.

5. Give an example of a spoonerism which is equally or more meaningful than its origin. (Eg. Tofurkey = faux-turkey)

6. A bullet train with over a trillion dollars-worth of plutonium is about to crash into a very very hot surface. If you do not stop the train Israel or Iran will pretend the other sent a nuclear attack against them, and the world will be far more horrible for the rest of your life. If you do stop the train, you will get a trillion dollars, but you will also become the most despotic person humanity has ever known. Your life will soon end unspeakably. Period.

7. Finish this sentence: "'Death of The Pugilist' was first published by

You get a C+, for "That seems pretty okay, I guess."