Hey, Can I Talk To You For A Second?

Good morning. How did you sleep? Oh, that's nice. Yes, you sound like you were very comfortable. Of course, sure, I guess I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night.

Listen--so... okay, I'm not accusing you of anything, but I just wanted to ask you a question about something.

I found this thorn in my bed last night, and I was just wondering if you might have any idea about how it got there. When I say I "found" it, I mean I was asleep and then it woke me up by poking me. See?

Yeah, it hurt, but I think I was mostly just surprised.

I'm just having a hard time figuring out where it came from, and I'm not saying it was you, but I want you to know that if it was you, that doesn't mean that you're a bad person, and it doesn't mean I'm mad at you. I'm just curious about what you might have been up to last night.

I also kind of have to admit that it sort of concerns me that you would think to do something like that to me; I'm not sure if you had some reason to do it that I didn't realize or something?

You can definitely talk to me about it if you want to, and I promise I won't get mad or anything.

I believe you. Yes, maybe you're right. Maybe the thorn was just in the tread of my shoes from the hike.

and maybe then I did go to sleep with my shoes on, and with my feet where my elbows usually go, and maybe it did come loose and poke me while I was shifting in sleep, and there wasn't anything else in the treads to come loose and ornament my bed, like dried mud for example, and I woke up--very abruptly--with my shoes on the other side of the room and with my feet nowhere near where my elbows usually go.

Or, yeah, maybe it was the cat.

Whatever you say