Referee Calls Shots

Why is someone you're no longer seeing called an "ex?" Like an ex-husband or whatever. Unconsciously we all think it's because first, you have a husband, and then when you get divorced you put an X over your husband. But then, everyone all learns at the same time that "ex" is actually a Latin preposition meaning "from" or "out of," and it's derived "from" the Proto-Indo-European grunt "*hʰs," meaning the same.

This all indicates that if you ever called anyone an ex-anything, you deserve to have your thick glasses broken over your gigantic schnoz, because the term we use in English for a person who ornaments their speech with Latin prepositions is "valueless dork slash sack of total ****."

Or on the other hand if you abide by "Cosmic Dictionary" theory, just define it in reverse:

A: Why is someone you're no longer seeing called an "ex?"
B: Because you're no longer seeing them. Duh. Think about it. That's why they're called your ex.

This theory posits that there's a cosmic dictionary somewhere in space that has no author, has existed for all time, and whose entries are devoid of etymology sections, and therefore, that you need only a thing's name to know the reason it has that name:

A: Why are lanterns called lanterns?
B: Because they give off light. That's what a lantern does.

A: Why do I have to go to work?
B: Hey, pal, that's why it's called a job.

A: What does "Einstein" mean?
B: He was one of the 20th century's most intelligent figures. That's why he's called Einstein. Which is to say, the word "Einstein" means that guy.

A: Why is this tasty pasta dish called "tortellini?"
B: Because it is pasta in the form of little ring-shaped cases containing a filling (as of meat or cheese).

A: Why is this tasty pasta dish called "rigatoni?"
B: Because that's what it is. It is rigatoni. That's why it's called rigatoni.

Another way of explaining this perplexing theory of reference is by moving on from, and entirely forgetting, the subject, in favor of listing all the clades in between dinosaur and flamingo, even though tons of the information below is plagiarized from a website you probably have a tab open of, some of the information is wrong, and some doesn't even make any sense:

Name of Clade
(Translation)
Summary Example 1 Example 2
Dinosauria
(Terrible Lizards)
A big scary reptile Stegosaurus Flamingo
Saurischia
(Lizard Hips)
A dinosaur with a three-pronged hip Allosaurus Flamingo
Theropoda
(Wild Beast Feet)
A saurischian with arms and legs Daemonosaurus Flamingo
Neotheropoda
(New Wild Beast Feet)
The theropods surviving the Tr-J
Extinction Event
Sarcosaurus Flamingo
Averostra
(Bird Snouts)
A neotheropod with an extra opening
in the front outer side of the maxilla
Ceratosaurus Flamingo
Tetanurae
(Stiff Tails)
Averostrans with "specialized wrist bones,
the absence or reduction of the fourth digit
of the hand, a strap-like scapula, stiffened
tails, and a laminar astragalar ascending
process."
Cryolophosaurus Flamingo
Orionides
(Captain Membrane)
A group comprising Megalosauroidea and
Avetheropoda, which isn't very interesting
and doesn't have any exciting bone
terminology, which sucks.
Duriavenator Flamingo
Avetheropoda
(Bird Wild Beast Feet)
Basically same deal as above only
comprising Coelurosauria and
Carnosauria. What binds those
two groups, is what I'd kill to know.
Giganotosaurus Flamingo
Coelurosauria
(Hollow-Tailed Lizards)
"Characteristics that distinguish coelurosaurs
include a sacrum longer than in other
dinosaurs, a tail stiffened towards the tip, a bowed
ulna, and a tibia that is longer than the femur."
Tyrannosaurus Flamingo
Maniraptoriformes
(Hand Snatcher Shaped)
Coelurosaurians with "pennaceous feathers and
wings."
Shenzhousaurus Flamingo
Maniraptora
(Hand Snatchers)
"Characterized by long arms and three-fingered
hands (though reduced or fused in some lineages),
as well as a 'half-moon shaped' bone in the wrist.
The only dinosaurs known to have breast bones."
Alvarezsaurus Flamingo
Pennaraptora
(feathery snatcher)
"The clade stemming from the first panavian
with... remiges and rectrices, that is, enlarged,
stiff-shafted, closed-vaned (= barbules
bearing hooked distal pennulae), pennaceous
feathers arising from the distal forelimbs and tail."
Conchoraptor Flamingo
Paraves
(Near Birds)
"An increasingly asymmetric wrist joint, a trend
that can be traced back to primitive coelurosaurs,
allowed the forelimbs to elongate and an
elaboration of their plumage, traits that made
the evolution of flapping flight possible."
Anchiornis Flamingo
Avialae
(Bird Wings)
"Jacques Gauthier, who named Avialae in 1986,
re-defined it in 2001 as all dinosaurs that
possessed feathered wings used in flapping
flight, and the birds that descended from them."
Archaopteryx Flamingo
Euavialae
(True Bird Wings)
"a group of birds which includes all avialan
species more closely related to modern birds,
than to the primitive, long-tailed birds
Archaeopteryx and Jeholornis."
Jixiangornis Flamingo
Avebrevicauda
(Birds With Short Tails)
"A group which includes all avialan species
with ten or fewer free vertebrae in the tail."
Sapeornis Flamingo
Pygostylia
(Rump Column???)
"Pygostylia was intended to encompass all avialans
with a short, stubby tail, as opposed to the long,
reptilian tails of more primitive species like
Archaeopteryx."
Confuciusornis Flamingo
Ornithothoraces
(Bird Thoraxes)
Their "anatomy includes a large, keeled
breastbone, elongated coracoids and a
modified glenoid joint in the shoulder,
and a semi-rigid rib cage."
Rapaxavis Flamingo
Euornithes
(True Birds)
These "species retained primitive
features like belly ribs and a pubic
symphysis. They also showed the
first fully modern pygostyles."
Archaeorhynchus Flamingo
Ornithurae
(Bird Tails)
All birds possessing a short tail
and not a long horrid lizard tail.
Hesperornis Flamingo
Neornithes/Aves
(New Birds/Birds)
All the birds which are related
to each other in some mysterious,
probably supernatural way that
they are NOT related to hesperornis,
a mystical way, even, unknowable &c.
Tinamou Flamingo
Neognathae
(New Jaws)
"The neognaths have fused metacarpals, an
elongate third finger, and 13 or fewer vertebrae."
Chicken Flamingo
Neoaves
(New Birds)
Consisting of all modern birds with the
exception of types like ratites, ducks,
and chickens, but why these are
excluded I'm not apparently allowed
to know probably because I'm bad.
Owl Flamingo
Aequorlitornithes
(Birds Of Calm Waters???)
A clade of waterbirds which apparently
doesn't need to be described because of
a "compressive genomic systematic study
using nearly 200 species" which I don't
even care about.
Tufted Puffin Flamingo
Mirandornithes
(Miranda Birds???)
"There are at least twelve distinct
morphological synapomorphies
that are unique to this clade:

1. At least the fourth to seventh cervical
vertebrae strongly elongate, with processus
spinosus forming a marked ridge.
2. Humerus with a marked oval depression
at insertion site of musculus
scapulohumeralis cranialis.
3. At least 23 presacral vertebrae.
4. At least four thoracic vertebrae fused
to a notarium.
5. Distal end of ulna with marked
oval depression radialis.
6. Phalanx proximalis digiti
majoris very elongate and narrow craniocaudally.
7. Distal rim of condylus medialis
of tibiotarsus distinctly notched.
8. Pars acetabularis of musculus
iliotibialis lateralis absent.
9. Pars caudalis of musculus caudofemoralis absent.
10. Wing with 12 primaries.
11. Left arteria carotis reduced or absent.
12. Eggs covered with a chalky
layer of amorphous calcium phosphate."

Whatever that means.
Grebe Flamingo
Phoenicopteriformes
(Phoenicopter Shaped???)
A group comprising living flamingos
and their crazy extinct relatives, which isn't
interesting because WHAT ABOUT THE
DING-DONGING BONES TELLS YOU
THE RELATION BETWEEN THE
FLAMINGO AND, SAY, PALAELODUS
Palaelodus Flamingo
Phoenicopteridae
(Phoenicopter???)
A family of pink wading birds which
are pink because they eat shrimp every
day of their dang lives.
Flamingo Just Flamingos

Golden Kings = Pineapples