I Only Got Two

To: RugTimXII@comcast.net
Subject: This man is reached Samadhi?
Date: Thu, 6 Jun 2014 11:43 PM

THis is submission by fan of website Dailydoofus.com (webmaster Peterr SChranzz?!). I am like the site, but wish you would write on subject of this man. Is this case of TRUE enlightenment or only scheming? Tell us ALL what you think. Please?

To: Ugh_fudge_bwana@sheckels.uz
Subject: RE: This man is reached Samadhi?
Date: Sun, 3 Jun 2014 10:18 AM

I would be happy to expend a portion of my advanced spiritual insights into this topic. According to some Buddhistical sources, the prerequisite to enlightenment is the extinguishing of all desires, and hence the desire to speak. Have they asked Shri Ashutosh Maharaj his side of the story? If they have and he's remained silent, I think you have your answer, at least from that most erroneous point of view. This particular guru was, or is, of a more orthodox bent, and so perhaps he will explain everything after all. The fact that he currently resides in a freezer without any complaint at all certainly seems to be a mark of a most serene countenance, that to be made of what you will.

Toshiro Baloney@google.ne;
To: RugTimXII@comcast.net
Subject: Finally!
Date: Tue, 10 Jun 2014 2:58 PM

Dear Mr. Schranz,

I am writing to inform you of a series of blighty typos you performed against your essay, "The Gift Of Clownes Wound-Wort." Where you imagined that "I tooke foure hand-fulls of the herbe stamped, and put them into a pan, whereunto I added foure ounces of Barrowes grease, halfe a pinte of oyle Olive, wax three ounces, which I boyled unto the consumption of the juyce," you should rightly have cognized that "foure" ought not to possess this impotently false silent 'e,' nor should "hand-fulls" be spelled other than 'handfuls.' I could urge further, however Strunk & White's "Elements Of Style" ought to smooth out the folds of your typo-creased bed.

Yours in most blessed constancy,

Mahamadou Issoufou

To: Toshiro Baloney@google.ne
Subject: Fwd: Finally!
Date: Wen, 10 Jun 2014 3:51 AM

Dear Mr. Issoufou,

I would firstly like to congratulate you on your most auspicious election in 2011, and beg your forgiveness as to my tardy celebration. If I would title this response, it would be "Daily Doofus Website Founder Emailed By President," on account of how this is about me rather than you.

Your Webmaster.

Is that all you got?