They Are Lying About Jeffrey Lewis

Everybody claims to worship Jeffrey Lewis as some sort of a deity, but I have discovered just how greatly they "revere" their king. The guy covered the Nervous Norvus song "The Fang" a few years ago. This means that everyone on the planet begged for the lyrics so they could sing along at home and at his concerts, which in some cases were one place.

Nobody can get enough of Jeffrey Lewis's lyrics, like "...Back when I was 22 I left the best thing that I knew / And I gave it up for fortune and for fame / I played like I didn't know how / I shocked the world / I wowed the crowd / But I deserved more than what they gave."

Anybody who thinks they like Jeffrey Lewis and who sobs uncontrollably while they sing along at his concerts must want so badly to learn all the lyrics that after they listened to his cover of "The Fang" they typed it into gogol and discovered that the lyrics didn't exist anywhere online except on Pirate-Mascot Lyrics Website and But nobody has done this, because my website never gets more than like two hits a day, even though I personally go on it more times than that.

Somebody ought to explain, if they kiss as many of the relics of Jeffrey Lewis as they claim to, why they didn't look up the lyrics to "The Fang," or if they did, why they, who name DIY consortium Jeffrey Lewis as their object of veneration, preferred the lyrics on Pirate iPhone website, even though it is less do it yourself than has the lyrics to Nervous Norvus's entire catalogue, except a few of the RARITIES.

Or do they have any interest in Nervous Norvus at all? Or, when they're at a Jeffrey Lewis concert, and he starts singing "The Fang," they stop crying, begin to undergo embarrassment which they do not examine at all, and leave the room, or even the house. It's obvious that if a person claims to revere Jeffrey Lewis as some sort of supernatural hero, and consequently, that do it yourself material is important to them, then they ought to be going on, and not pirate website, to memorize "The Fang."

However this cannot BE, because my website's ranking on has slid 3,673,879 slots in the last three months, and is now merely the 11,360,664th most viewed website, even though it deserves the more princely ranking of 7,686,785th. In either case,'s ranking is 1,293,915, making it about ten million units less DIY than my website.

The international unit of website DIY-ness is the GROAN (Global Ranking Of AN website): the higher the number, the more DIY, and so gogol, with a GROAN of 1, is the least DIY website on the scene, which bears up under scrutiny when we consider how the last act performed upon that website by a human being, and not by C-3PO, was in the year AD 2000. And my website has over eleven million GROANs, which, contrary to the sense of the previous paragraph, is a GOOD thing.

Interestingly Jeffrey Lewis's website's GROAN index is a mere 2,664,004, which makes him even less DIY than (with 7,844,731 GROANs).

Anyone who claims to like Jeffrey Lewis, and is actually bothered when the serpents of dishonesty coil around their heart, needs to go onto my website because of the following flow chart: Jeffrey Lewis → Nervous Norvus → this website. If you are not currently on this website, you are a liar and should be ashamed.

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