Why have my updates been getting monthlier? I would like to say it's because I'm too busy writing my novel, but that would make me sound like an ivory-tower egghead who's out of touch with reality, whereas reality is really my canard au jus. But if I don't off-road in that direction it means I have to admit it's because I'm too busy playing online e-chess or far, far, worse.
My mental health professional suggested that I could more readily encrust my mind with the jewels of peace if I meditated, but what she doesn't realize is that I meditated almost every day for two whole weeks eleven months ago, so I went pretty much as deep into the meditation game as anybody on the planet and in history.
It's probably a good idea though because I spent all day at work being sad about flakes. Recently it has felt as though, whenever I rely on people to help me fulfill a goal, the goal goes unachieved. I'm sure it's all a brain-lie but I couldn't shake the notion that all the goals of mine that require reliance on others are unachievable. This is of course not to flake out on bearing my own yoke, for indeed many of my goals requiring reliance on myself alone go unachieved as well. I went to the trouble of illustrating as much using Euler's circles, tools that have never let me down and will never do:
I forgot to insert another permutation, goals other people rely on me to help them achieve. Just mark me down for I disappoint them.
Today I learned that this guy at work was absent because he got shot and is in the hospital and can move his feet. I didn't even think about it for long because I was too busy worrying about my goals. Is there anything I can do? Shouldn't we go to the hospital and visit him or get him a card or something? I didn't think to ask because my goals were monopolizing my attention and I didn't hear anybody suggest anything. My bosses brought in doughnuts and coffee today for everybody. I thought it was my goal problem that made the world a rotten place but this guy got shot and I can only think of wrong ways to respond. I responded by making a .jpg about goals a few minutes ago. At lunch today I saw a little toddler girl run fifty feet to go hug her dad. When she reached him he picked her up and swung her around while she laughed like an ape.