Q: Where is your RSS feed?
A: I tried to understand what an RSS feed is, but I couldn't. Besides, I'm not sure something like that belongs here. If you want to be fed what I write, you can check out my website at www.dailydoofus.com.
Q: I want to reply to one of your entries. But how?
A: You can E-mail me. I don't know how to make it so you can reply and people can see. If you want to see your reply, say something weird and I'll post it and say that it's weird.
Q: Wake up, dude, you're living in Web 1.0. We live in a time of I Pads, CGI, Facebook, the hottest apps.
Q: I want to get your feed as an update on my new quad-band tablet. Can you give me the IPC code so I can circuit your website's baseline profile directly to my tablet's PID?
A: Yeah, sure. The IPC code can be redeemed by typing #2GG1A on your I Phone or similar internet-based web-telephone.
Q: World Corp Enterprise is interested in your website-based business, The Daily Do-Office. We are willing to offer you a total overhaul, web-sprites, dev/null, the works, to bring your website into the lofty chrome future of the 21st century, and out of the stone-age mud of the 20th century. This will make your business grow at an alarming rate, for a low and cheap price of $29.99 a month. In what way will you be paying/thanking us?
A: I'd love to pay you to take my website away from me. I'm willing to pay you 29.99 million dollars, in fact, to do me this favor. First, just give me your bank account information and pin number and shit so I can just go ahead and make that transaction for you.
'Answers' is my middle name.