End The Madness

English blows, and here's why:

If the ground can whiten after some summer snow,

and the tuna can blacken after Billy forgot it was in the oven,

and Billy's dad's cheeks can redden with rage, why can't Billy's face greenen after he eats the raw tuna he was too impatient to cook?

Even though his pants just yellow when he wets them (they don't 'yellowen'), I'm cool with that. What I'm uncool with is peaches being unable to 'orangen' as they become ripe, or that the sky can't 'bluen' after dawn.

Or that subdermal hemorrhaging doesn't 'purplen' the skin. I hate that garbage.

It's time we stop putting these artificial restrictions on our speech, things which change color 'turning' this or "going" that. Just plop on '-en' to the end, save ink, save time. Fast-paced, modern life is speeding up to such a degree that we hardly have time to enjoy it, being too busy finding coffee and 'energy beverages' so we can wake up early and get 'ahead of the game' so our economy can sustain eternal growth (by bleeding dry first earth, then the other planets, and then Heaven and Hell, which as we all know are infinite, and therefore can be bled dry forever.)

It's time we stop using valuable time to say 'going' and 'turning' before everything. It's the only way we can get through this depression.

Think that's total bullshit? Taste this: China's economy is a shining star, glowing and beautiful with growth. Do you know what language they speak in China?


Let's Stop Kidding Ourselves