Excerpts From Numchucks Club, By "Numb" Chuck S. Palahniuk

Numchucks club is tomorrow, and I'm not going to miss numchucks club.
Walter says "I'd hate to see what happened to the other guy."
The first rule about numchucks club is you don't talk about numchucks club.
I tell Walter I fell.
I did this to myself.
My boss says, "What do you get yourself into every weekend?"
I just don't want to die without getting hit with a few numchucks, I say, by accident.
The second rule about numchucks club is you don't talk about numchucks club, ya dunce.
Maybe at lunch, the waiter comes to your table and the waiter has the two black eyes of a giant panda from numchucks club last weekend when you saw him get his head numchucked between the concrete floor and the knee of a two-hundred-pound stock boy who kept numchucking a fist into the bridge of the waiter's nose until the waiter caught enough breath and numchucked blood to say, stop.
Only two guys to a numchuck. One numchuck at a time. They numchuck without shirts or shoes. The numchucks go on as long as they have to. Those are the other rules of numchucks club.

A guy in numchucks club works on cars so he's parked at the curb in somebody's black Corniche, and all I can do is look at it, all black and gold, this huge cigarette case ready to numchuck me somewhere...Even a week after numchucks club, you've got no problem driving inside the speed limit. Maybe you've been passing black numchucks, internal injuries, for two days, but you are so cool. Other cars numchuck around you. You get the numchucks from other drivers. After numchucks club, you're so relaxed, you cannot care...Maybe your ribs stab along a numchuck fracture every time you take a breath. Cars behind you blink their numchucks. The numchuck is going down, orange and gold.

Praise for Numchucks Club

"An astonishing debut... Numchucks Club is a dark, unsettling, and nerve-numchucking satire." -Seattle Times

"'Numchucks Club' is a powerful, dark, original novel. This is a memorable debut by an important new numchuck." -Roger Stone

"This brilliant bit of nihilism numchucks where so many self-described transgressive novels do not: It's dangerous because it hurts when someone hits you with a pair of them." -The Kirkus Review

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