The Bank You Use

This is your bank, not speaking right now: your tax information is at a critical level, and we need you to answer some questions or the IRS will burn down your house.

1. Do you still live at your current address?


2. Dog or gun in house?


3. Are you willing to hand over your account information?

4. Routing Number:

5. Account Number:

6. Do you have more than a hundo in the bank? The reason we can't find out ourselves is because the IRS put your account in a holding pattern until we get this straightened out, you see:
< Hundo
1-8 Hundo
8-10 Hundo
No such things as more than 10 hundo

7. Please check all the places you keep valuables in your house, so in case the IRS comes you can make sure to get them before they're burnt.
Under the mattress
Jewelry case
Treasure chest

I'm going to be rich